Proper Communication
by gveret
Summary: Lena is dating the woman of her dreams and she couldn't be happier. Well, perhaps she could be a little bit happier, if her girlfriend would stop dating other people. But, really, there's only so much happiness one person can handle, isn't there? She can adjust. (In which Lena thinks she and Kara are dating, Kara has no idea, and Mon-El makes everything worse.)
1. Chapter 1

**Notes:** Inspired by a tumblr post. Despite the extremely silly premise, this turned out pretty serious and angsty. Sorry! This premise probably deserves a funnier fic. Hope you enjoy anyway! This is part 1 of 3. Next part up tomorrow!

 **Warning** for mentions of abusive behavior (on Mon-El's part; nothing is depicted directly). Also lots and lots of miscommunication.

* * *

Lena Luthor's girlfriend is a bit forgetful. Truth be told, perhaps more than a bit. Sometimes she forgets dates, or conversations, and sometimes she can go days without contact, and when confronted, remain convinced that she had just seen Lena the night before.

That's all right. Lena's girlfriend is sharp and bright and brilliant, gentle and fun and beautiful, and if she hadn't had this minor, tiny, entirely negligible flaw, Lena would have thought her far, far too good to be true. She's already in danger of being that as it is.

Which is why Lena is steadfastly determined to be the best she can herself, to constantly challenge herself to be kinder, softer, more thoughtful, to mind her tendency toward egocentricity, so she might, one day, perhaps, conceivably, be worthy of Kara Danvers.

In service of this endeavour, it's therefore no big thing for Lena to graciously accept that sometimes dates are missed or cancelled, that Kara might occasionally go long periods of time incommunicado, or that she doesn't seem terribly interested in kissing.

Certainly, Lena herself prefers taking things slow, has her own hangups concerning physical intimacy, and in any case, Kara's hugs are exhilarating and overwhelming enough all on their own.

Yes, all that is good and well, but, some things Lena finds somewhat harder to adjust to. For example, Kara apparently forgetting to mention that she's dating someone else.

"You - you're dating Mike?" Lena blinks, mind stuttering, barely able to process this absurd - surely, absurd - input. "Of the interns?"

Kara adjusts her glasses, smiling, bashful. "Well, yes. I was sure I'd mentioned it? It's been a couple weeks."

A couple weeks - Lena needs to sit down. It's true that they haven't discussed being exclusive - haven't discussed their relationship much at all, not in explicit terms - it was all so new - and certainly Kara deserved to have all the love she could want, but - Lena had thought things were going so well. _Two weeks_ … Lena racked her brain for anything significant that might have happened two weeks ago.

"Lena? You okay?" Lena glances up to see Kara leaning over her, awkward smile gone, replaced with very visible concern.

Lena looks away, rubs at her temple in a vain attempt to ward off an inevitable headache. "Wh-why?" she stammers. How embarrassing.

"Why am I asking if you're okay? You flopped down in your chair, and you look pale, and now you're rubbing your forehead -"

"No. Why -" Lena waves her hand, tries not to grit her teeth, " _him_?"

"Oh! Well." Kara sits down opposite her, rests her hand atop Lena's. Despite herself, Lena melts. "He's sweet, and funny, and pretty okay in a fight, I guess. And he loves me a lot. Lena, should I get you some water?"

I _love you a lot _,__ Lena wants to say. But they haven't gotten there - haven't even come close - and it's still too early - they haven't even _kissed_ \- and this certainly isn't the time. "Do you - do you lo- like him?" Lena forces out. If this isn't casual, if this _thing_ with Mike is serious, should she step back? Or would this be one of those polyamorous relationships? In times like these Lena desperately wishes she had more experience with any kind of relationship.

Kara squeezes her hand and lets go. "I - I don't know," she says, and Lena tries not to feel too relieved. It seems wrong to wish for your probably polyamourous girlfriend's other romantic relationships to be unsuccessful. Even if they had been previously unknown to you. Damn, but she wishes she were more versed in this sort of etiquette. "I guess so?" Kara says.

"You don't seem convinced," Lena points out.

Kara sighs. "I don't know. He really is very sweet, Lena. He just - doesn't _listen_ , sometimes."

"I see." _Do not gloat _._ Do _not _gloat _.__

"I mean, I told him, _multiple times _,__ not to rush over without - and I know what I'm talking about, I mean, in this case, _I'm_ the one between us with actual experience, but he's like a puppy. He just can't stay still."

Lena feels slightly lost. Is Kara talking about sex? She takes a deep breath. _Jealousy is unattractive, Lena _.__ More importantly - "Does he do things you - you don't want him to?"

Kara looks taken aback. "Oh - no, it's not like that. Nothing like that, Lena, I swear."

"Kara…" Lena looks forward, searching Kara's face. "You deserve for your boundaries to be respected."

"He does!" Kara half lifts out of her chair in her protest. "He does. It's fine, Lena, you don't need to worry about me, I promise." She laughs nervously. "How did we get here? This is not where I was going with this conversation."

"Kara… I will support any decision you make. Of course. Of course. I want you to be as happy as you possibly can. We'll figure this out."

Kara looks at her so softly then, smile morphing seamlessly from nervous to pure sunshine. She looks at Lena like she's shining, like she's worthy and comforting and good, and Lena is instantly on the verge of tears.

No matter what, Lena loves her girlfriend. She's worth it. She's worth everything. And they will get through this. Together.

"Thanks, Lena," Kara says, so soft and heartfelt and - and - _loving_. "Please don't cry." She sounds almost choked up herself, now.

"I can't, I - I care about you so much," Lena can't stop herself from admitting, even if it isn't the proper time, even if she can't even look at Kara, too busy carefully intercepting her tears before they smear her mascara.

"I care about you, too." Kara is sniffling now, laying her hand palm up on the table, and, screw her mascara, Lena stops dabbing in order to take it. "Dinner at mine?" Kara offers. "I'll even cook."

And it's okay, it must be okay that her girlfriend might be seriously dating some possibly highly dubious man, because Kara Danvers cares about Lena, enough to say so and to cook her dinner and to hold her hand and to cry with her for no good reason.

Everything else, she's sure, can be handled with some patience, compassion, and, of course, proper communication.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note:** part 2 of 3! Part 3 will be up tomorrow. (Sorry in advance for this one! Heartbreak ahead.)

* * *

"All clear for our lunch date Saturday? I've been dying to try this vegan shawarma since it's opened." Lena fidgets with her new taser prototype as she speaks.

"Oh, right, about that…" Kara already sounds painfully contrite. Lena's stomach plummets. "Mon - um - Mike got us tickets to the ballet. He's been kind of down lately. He needs me."

 _'I need you too'_ would surely be a manipulative thing to say. Besides, Lena supposes it is true that Kara and her have spent more time together lately than usual. "That's perfectly understandable," Lena says, doing her best to be fittingly understanding. "We can have vegan shawarma any time. Does Tuesday work?"

Lena would swear she can hear Kara wince over the phone. "We're kinda going to the opera Tuesday?"

"Uh. Wow. Sounds like he really does feel insecure." Kara laughs uncomfortably - a bad Kara laugh, nothing at all like a happy Kara laugh, which Lena is sure can melt icebergs - and Lena immediately softens. "Well, I hope you two have fun."

"Yeah. I'm free next Friday though?"

Lena presses down on the taser. Something breaks. This model still needs work. "I'll be with the heavy metal filtration dev team all day Friday. That Saturday, too."

"That sucks," says Kara. "Not the water filter part, that's awesome. The not seeing you properly for two weeks part."

Lena chuckles. "We really must figure out a better custody arrangement. I demand to have you more often than every other weekend."

Kara laughs again, and oh - the good laugh this time. Lena closes her eyes. The better to savor. "Trust me, you get the better end of the deal. Mike gets the exhausting emotional conversations and constant arguments. You get to take me out to eat weird ice cream."

A familiar warning light flashes in Lena's mind. This isn't the first time Kara has said something concerning. "Constant arguments certainly don't sound very pleasant," she says carefully.

"Not really, no."

"Kara, if you want to talk… if there's anything I can do to make your life easier… I don't want you to have to deal with things alone."

"You, you already do," Kara says, quiet, tentative, wonderful. "You already make my life so much better."

 _I love you. I love you. I love you._ Lena's heart pounds with the words. "I feel the same way," she chokes out, pressing the heels of her palms to her eyes.

"Are you crying?" Kara asks, sounding strained. "Lena, come on! Every time?"

Lena sniffles. "I - I've got to go," she says hurriedly. "I have a - conference call."

"I can't believe you! You crybaby! I'll text you."

"Yes, all right, good bye," Lena rushes, and disconnects the call before she starts sobbing, grateful as ever for the soundproofed office walls. Terrible for an emergency, but perfect for avoiding humiliation, and Lena has her priorities in order.

When Jess brings her in a box of donuts and a packet of tissues, however, Lena suspects she somehow knows, anyway.

But surely it isn't Lena's fault her girlfriend is so wonderful she moves her to tears every once in a _very long_ while, is it?

.

.

Lena has decided she is going to ask Kara to kiss her. It has been three months now that she and Kara have been dating, three weeks since she has learned she's apparently found herself in a polyamorous relationship. She's done some research online, and though she's encountered some contradictory advice, a lot of confusing terminology and some truly incomprehensible political theory, one theme remained consistent: in these types of relationships, even moreso than other kinds, clearly and honestly communicating one's needs and wishes is key.

To say she is nervous about this conversation is a bit of an understatement; despite the fact that Lena has spent weeks and weeks fantasizing about Kara's lips, the warmth of her breath on Lena's face, her gentle, strong fingers in her hair, messing up her ponytail; despite all that, she has been deliberately putting this question off.

If Kara said no, Lena would be devestated. If she said yes and didn't truly want it, if Lena made her feel pressured or guilty or coerced -

Lena can't bear to even finish the thought.

This is Kara, she reminds herself. Thoughtful, strong, stubborn Kara, who surely trusts enough in herself to be able to reject an offer she doesn't want to accept.

Lena remembers the first time she had asked Kara out on a date - it had been so much easier then, still relatively early in their acquaintanceship. Lena had been much less invested, though it seems impossible now, and the stakes had been lower.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?" Lena had asked. And, just to make her intentions extra clear, added, "Just the two of us?"

And Kara had immediately responded with a very enthusiastic "Yes, I'd love to!" And when Lena had suggested the smoked eel cart, Kara quickly shot that down with a vehement "Ohh, no. No way that's happening. Actually, I know the perfect place."

It had been the best fast Chinese food first date Lena had ever been on, even if she'd felt a little overdressed in her low cut dress with Kara in her usual pastel button up; and, granted, her sample pool wasn't particularly impressive, but she really needed no further proof that Kara Danvers is the best thing that's ever happened to her.

.

.

Lena resolves to take advantage of the opportunity presented when Kara and her have finally been able to coordinate a mutually free evening, and her girlfriend is with her in her apartment, looking cozy and beautiful snuggled in a blanket on the sofa, having just finished watching a nature documentary about the Southern Ocean.

Lena pokes Kara in the ribs and is answered with a chuckle and a quizzical look. "There's something I've been wanting to ask you," Lena tells her, gathering all her deep sea creature-fueled courage. "Do you mind?"

"Of course not." Kara smiles at her and pokes back. "What is it?"

Lena takes a deep breath. "Kara, I… I think you're wonderful, you're a ray of sunshine in my life, every moment I get to spend with you is so precious to me. I want so much for us to be… to be closer. Would that be… all right?"

Kara stares at her for a moment, looking almost shocked, and Lena's breath stutters, her stomach in her throat. But then Kara moves, so quickly, all in a surge, and then she is hugging Lena, close and firm and overwhelmingly warm, one hand running strong and certain over Lena's back, and Lena can't remember feeling as safe and comfortable and _welcome_ as she does in this moment. It's a hard, indulgent hug, not a greeting or a fleeting gesture, the kind of hug that invites you to linger, allows you to stay, and for once Lena doesn't need to calculate the right amount of time that would be appropriate, to plan the right moment to disengage. She allows herself to sink fully into it, into Kara, and feel only the relief and joy and absolute love of this moment.

"Lena Luthor," Kara murmurs, hand still rubbing all over Lena's back. "I had no idea you felt that way."

The words send a sudden pang to Lena's gut. Kara had no idea? Had Lena been negligent in showing her?

"Of course," she says. _I love you _.__ "I'm sorry I hadn't said so sooner. Kara, I… you're the most important person in my life."

Kara's hands move from their grip around Lena's waist and over her back to her shoulders. Lena reluctantly takes the cue and withdraws from the hug, hurriedly wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. Kara is looking right at her, her face so close, her eyes so soft, her lips - Lena's gaze snags on them and is stuck.

 _Ask her for a kiss. Ask her for a kiss. Ask her for a kiss!_

"Kara… May I kiss you?" Lena breathes. Her heartbeat thunders in her ears. For a moment Kara leans minutely forward, and Lena almost closes her eyes, almost breathes Kara's breath, almost tastes her mouth; but Kara blinks, and lets go.

"I - what?" she says, choppy, still blinking too much. "Lena, I - I have a boyfriend."

For a moment Lena can only stare, dumbfounded. "Yes, I know," she says slowly, at a complete loss, mind racing to diagnose exactly what she could have misunderstood so completely for this conversation to seem so nonsensical to her.

"I can't cheat on Mo- on Mike!" Kara is saying, sounding anxious, and Lena feels distantly pained that she caused Kara this anxiety.

She just doesn't _understand_. "But - but how is that cheating?" she pleads. "We were together _first_!"

Kara's eyes widen. She scoots forward, lays a tentative hand on Lena's arm, eyes worried and searching. "Lena, what do you mean?" she asks, softly, and nothing at all makes sense any more.

Had Kara broken up with her without her noticing? Could it be… could it be possible, somehow, that Lena had misconstrued their entire relationship all along? If Lena hadn't been tyrannically diligent in taking her medication and attending checkups, she might have thought she's been having one prolonged manic episode. As it is, she can already feel her heart breaking.

She covers the hand Kara had placed on her arm with her own, wills it not to tremble. Her voice already is a lost cause. "Kara, we, we've been together for the past three months," she says, too softly, so suddenly unsure of every truth she'd thought she knew about her life. "Haven't we?"

"What do you mean, together?" Kara asks, and that hesitance, that confusion, is confirmation enough of Lena's worst fears.

Lena doesn't cry; she never cries in a crisis. Instead she feels the cold Luthor steel snaking into her voice. For once, she's grateful. "I had thought you and I were involved in a romantic relationship. Clearly, I was mistaken."

Kara's grip tightens on her arm even as Lena lets go and makes to draw back. "Lena - I - How -?"

Lena gently pries Kara's hand from her bicep, allows herself to look away. She's just been dumped - no, more accurately, she's just discovered the relationship she had thought was going so well was never hers to lose in the first place. How could she have been so foolish, so presumptuous? Of course their " _dates_ " had only been meals between friends, all their intimate touches and loving words nothing but a natural extension of the endless fount of warmth and kindness that is Kara Danvers. Lena had been so greedy, so deluded, so… so exploitative, presuming to take something that had never been offered.

"I'd like to be alone now, Kara," she says quietly, guilt and shame warring with heartache and intense, unfair resentment. "I need some time to process things."

Kara looks incredibly reluctant, though she doesn't protest, ever selfless and respectful, putting others' needs above her own. "Of course," she says gently. Her hand raises, as if to touch Lena again, but drops back down. "Please call me when you feel ready. Please, Lena."

Lena nods, steals a quick glance at Kara's face, regrets it immediately. The last thing she needs right now is seeing Kara in pain.

Kara nods back, hesitates a few more seconds, and finally leaves.

Lena spends the rest of the night making no progress whatsoever on her latest hearing aid, and probably only making it worse. She falls asleep at her ergonomic work chair a couple of hours before sunrise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** Last one! **Warning** for alcohol in this chapter.

* * *

Lena is indulging in her second shot of mediocre whiskey, soaking in the comforting atmosphere of bad indie music and ambient homosexuality, when she receives a text from Kara. Despite herself, her heart kicks into higher gear.

 _ _'_ Lenaaaaaa,'_ reads the text, followed by a small collection of despairing emojis. ' _Can I see u finally? Pleeease? I miss u...'_

Then Kara sends a picture of a puppy, and adds, ' _She misses u too!'_

Lena can't help laughing. ' _Who is she? _'__ she texts back.

' _My imaginary internet puppy, _'__ Kara replies. ' _So can i come see u? _'__

Lena sighs. There is absolutely no universe in which she could possibly say no. ' _Sure. I'm at the bar on 504 Rosemont Ave. _'__

 _ _'_ Really? I'm nearby! What a wild coincidence! Be there in a sec.'_

 _ _'_ Are you bringing the puppy _?'__

 _'Nope! Just myself!'_

 _'You're right, one puppy is more than enough.'_

Kara's last response is a heart, a balloon and a blushing smiley.

Lena smiles crookedly to herself. Things have been understandably strained between them for the past several weeks. Lena has been struggling with her mortification and her grief for the relationship that never was, as well as the recurring sense of guilt, the feeling that she'd taken advantage somehow. But Kara has been her relentlessly understanding, supportive self, saying just the right things, enough to make Lena occasionally wonder if Kara was even real or just the self-indulgent devil on her shoulder.

But of course, Kara was very real, real and warm and sweet and clever even in the face of the most awkward situation imaginable, and although they haven't seen each other properly since that day, Kara still managed to brighten up Lena's life from afar, sending her baked goods and silly texts and the odd short audio message.

Shaking herself out of reminiscence, Lena just barely manages to finish her drink before she spots Kara walking over to her.

She slides onto the barstool next to Lena. "Hello, pretty lady," she says with an incongruously shy smile. "Can I buy you some fries?"

Lena grins, almost involuntarily. How is this ridiculous person so damn irresistible? "I believe a drink is more traditional."

"Well, food is much tastier, and I'd prefer for you to remember this conversation."

"What kind of featherweight do you think I am?" Lena laughs, feigning affront.

"Don't you think it's weird that part of your - I mean, um, our - conventions of courtship includes hampering each other's ability to think clearly and make rational decisions?" Kara asks, gesturing animatedly, and Lena can't help it, she loves her, she loves her. "Seems kinda fishy to me."

"Again, Irish blood over here. You don't need to worry about _my_ cognitive functions." Impulsively, Lena winks. Badly. She'd have probably immediately regretted it, except Kara is blushing, and Lena feels nothing remotely approaching regret. "But fries it is."

Kara catches the bartender's attention and rummages around in her bag. "This is my first time at a gay bar," she remarks.

"Really? Your sister's never taken you?"

Kara flashes her a wry smile. "I don't need an escort, I'm bi enough all by myself," she says, and Lena laughs. "But no. I don't know. I'm not much of an alcohol person, and once I was with - um. Thanks," she tells the bartender as she hands her the heaping plate of bad bar fries.

The conversational thread is dropped as they both start eating. Lena finds herself enjoying the comforting familiar greasiness of the fries, the natural, companionable silence between Kara and her. She'd missed this so much. Now that she's had time to stew and process and finally make her peace with their non-existent relationship, she's grateful to find that spending time with Kara is the very opposite of painful. It's comfortable and fun and fulfilling, and it's more than enough. Friendship with Kara, Lena is certain, trumps a thousand intimate relationships with a thousand other people.

"I broke up with Mike," Kara says abruptly. Lena freezes with a fry halfway to her mouth. "It was hard, being with him, I mean it was good but sometimes so hard and I - I thought that was just the way it is, you know? All relationships are hard. They take work and compromise and sometimes you don't get what you want or what you think you deserve but -" She pauses, her face visibly drawn even in the poor lighting. She fiddles with a packet of ketchup and it bursts in her hand. Lena silently hands her a tissue.

"I realized it didn't have to be like that all the time," Kara continues. "That maybe I wasn't being unreasonable. Maybe - maybe I do deserve someone who listens, who respects my decisions, cares about my opinion -" Kara turns to look straight at Lena, half-wiped ketchupy fingers lacing loosely with Lena's on the bar top. "Lena," Kara says, "the reason I was able to realize this is... is _you_."

Lena blinks at her. She can barely breathe for the hope expanding in her chest. But she can't afford to misinterpret things again. "Kara, what are you saying?"

Kara grimaces, scratches the back of her neck. "I think I've been a little bit in, uh, denial?" she says, sounding uncertain, or embarrassed. "I guess in some part of my brain I knew what we were doing wasn't just regular old friend things. I mean, I haven't had that many female friends, either, and... but it just didn't occur to me to think of you like that, you know? Maybe it's some internalization thing. I don't know. But when I really thought about it, I - I realized I am kind of madly attracted to you?" Kara laughs nervously, fidgets strangely with her ear.

And Lena had been lying, absolutely, shamelessly lying to herself before, because if Kara's friendship would have been _enough_ , this would be too much to possibly contain. But maybe it is, because Lena certainly feels overflowing, with love and with happiness and with tears that are dripping freely over their joined hands on the table, and Lena knows Kara is serious because there are still fries left on the plate and she doesn't seem concerned that they are getting soggy.

"Lena," Kara murmurs, and she is already so close that Lena can feel her breath on her face, doesn't need to hear the words because she can _feel_ them, "can I kiss you?"

Lena nods, jerky and desperate with longing, months of longing suddenly validated, suddenly losing their bitterness, tasting instead of sweet anticipation.

Kara leans forward, closes the distance between them, and - oh - she tastes like salt and vegetable oil and soda and Lena's happiest memories. Lena moves her lips, carefully, tenderly, and Kara responds in kind, cups Lena's jaw in her palm, releases her hand to run the other over Lena's collarbone, shoulder, chest, smearing her shirt with ketchup and grease. Lena has never cared less about an article of clothing in her life.

Lena angles her head, opens her mouth, and there - there is Kara's tongue, firm and insistent and heady. Lena traps it between her lips and sucks, and Kara bucks into her over the stools, her hand twisting in the collar of Lena's shirt. Lena bunches her hands in Kara's cardigan at her waist and hangs on.

Lena has no idea how long their kiss drags on, insensate to all but every point of contact between Kara and herself, but by the time they pull apart her vision is spotty, her breathing loud and heavy, her lips swollen and tingling.

"Lena," Kara pants. "Wow."

"Wow," Lena repeats mindlessly.

"I - what did you think?" Kara asks, running Lena's shirt collar between finger and thumb.

"I love you," says Lena, thoughts bouncing barely coherent in her head. "Let's take things slow."

Kara laughs at her, bright and happy. "You are ridiculous," she says. And then, "I kinda love you too."

"Good," Lena replies, still trying unsuccessfully to bring herself fully to the present. The present where Kara's lips aren't on hers anymore. "That's good."

Kara laughs again. "Okay. Since we've already been doing everything out of order, I guess we can go slow after saying ' _I love you_ 's."

"Yes," says Lena.

"Right. So. Lena Luthor, would you like to go on a date with me? Of the romantic kind, to be clear."

"Yes," Lena says again.

"Great! Oh, by the way, you should know, I'm Supergirl." Kara smiles at her very brightly before shoving the remainder of the fries in her mouth and hopping off the stool. "I'll get you the NDAs to sign some other time. Oh, do you have any questions? I know you've suspected, but if you're confused, just ask."

"Uh. I. No, that's okay."

"Right. We'll talk later, okay? Since we're taking things slow, I should go. If I stay much longer I'll just end up kissing you again. Text me the time you want for our romantic date, okay?"

Lena nods, fighting to get her thoughts in order. Kara kissed her. It was wonderful. Kara is Supergirl. They're going on a _date_. Kara Danvers, who is Supergirl, wants to kiss and also date Lena. And she said - said -

Before Lena can stop herself, she grabs Kara's hand, looks up into her face. "I love you," she says intently.

Kara leans forward and places a light, slightly off-centre kiss on her mouth. "Yes, you've said." She flashes Lena a teasing smile. Then she leans back in, her lips right next to Lena's ear, whispers, "And as I have also said, I love you too. Dummy."

Lena might be a dummy, a dramatic, oblivious, emotionally incompetent dummy, but she loves Kara Danvers, and Kara Danvers loves her, so really, there's very little else she can bring herself to care about at the moment. And this time, there's no place for misunderstanding.


End file.
